All Hail The King Of the Two Americas: The Remix

Posted on January 25, 2012 | 2 Comments

Since reading my Facebook newsfeed last night after the President’s Sermon Of The Union address, I’m more convinced than ever that the biggest obstacle the President has is tempering America’s response to him. Not his work…him.

 I wanted to write about that. But once again, what came out on paper started to sound familiar. So I hit the archives and discovered that I already had in November 2009.

All Hail The King Of The Two Americas: Click Here

People, we gotta get rational about this #mediocre-presidency-that-could-be-great-if-we-could-get-both-sides-working-together-but-that-doesn’t-mean-that-it’s-anyone-else’s-fault-other-than-the-man-in-charge-and-that’s-what-he-wants-anyway-since-he’s-a-smart-and-educated-man-who-knew-this-accountability-came-with-the-position-so-he’s-not-asking-anyone-for-excuses-so-let’s-stop-shoving-him-in-the-excuse-box-because-it-diminishes-him-and-his-capabilities-in-the-eyes-of-the-public-and-I’m-not-just-saying-that-because-I’m-in-love-with-him.  Quick.  We’re out of time.

If it’s any consolation, I think it’s what Jesus would do.

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We Interrupt This Program…

Posted on January 24, 2012 | Leave a comment

So, I’ve added this site to my blogroll because something about this blog seems important; don’t quite know why I think so…but anyway, I want to make sure everyone sees it. 

Click Here:  Yo, Is This Racist?

CAUTION:  Not for the fainthearted, this muthaf#%$ has a potty mouth.

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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Posted in From Me to You

The Year Of Living Dangerously Challenge #1 — Skiing

Posted on January 24, 2012 | 4 Comments

As I careened down the hill at mach speed, frantically grabbing at trees or small children or anything else that might help break my fall, it occurred to me that skiing is a good metaphor for dealing with life.

First, you should know that the “tuck and roll” is critically important to falling without injury and is almost impossible to pull off with skis on. When you fall while skiing, your ass is in it to win it so you might as well go as hard as you can and let the fall be what it will be. In life, I tend to hold back and err on the side of caution, hesitating with each step to make sure I don’t fall. But as my ass was skidding down that snow bank like a rock across a pond, it occurred to me that the fall was not nearly as bad as the FEAR of the fall. In fact, all that damn flailing around was a reaction to the fear, not the fall. The actual fall itself was just soft thud, a face full of snow and a muffled “Oomph!”

That’s my major point.

My minor point is that a booty, no matter how flat, fluffy or wide, is not an effective shock absorber.

Hey, I never said these challenges would be deep. Who am I? Deepak Chopra?

Next weekend’s challenge? I investigate the adage that “it takes two to tango!”

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Posted in From Me to You

Life Lessons and Other Random Foolishness – Part Deux

Posted on January 13, 2012 | 4 Comments

You know, it’s not always easy to tell the truth especially when the truth is ugly.   Because unlike the vision impaired bartender from Part 1, we don’t like ugly. That’s who we are as a country today.  Denial, emotion, avoidance?  Sure, but not ugly.  But that bartender has converted me, I now prefer the ugly truth.  The ugly truth is that unless we stop allowing politicians to bastardize our democratic process through manipulation and fear, America will not be restored to greatness.  Now, that’s ugly because we all want hope and change.  We’re so addicted to feeling better in the present, we are jeopardizing the potential to actually be better in the future.  As the 2012 presidential campaign starts to heat up, we’re gonna hear a lot of lies meant to distract us from the truth.

The biggest lie ever?  The other party is the problem.

Y’know, I never understood the concept of primaries.  Folks from the same party get together in a dogfight to eat each others young and compete for the party’s nomination.  But bloodied and bruised, the top dog has been reduced by his own party to the one remaining attribute that they suddenly and miraculously agree qualifies him to lead the country:  NOT being the incumbent.  I mean all his shit sucks but at least he (pointing at Romney) ain’t HIM (pointing at Obama.)  Now I’m supposed to be confident that mofo can run the country when his own boys have just turned on him like a pack of cannibalistic savages?

So no, the other party is not the problem.  Your own party is the problem.

The other party is simply here to oppose YOUR ass which is what the hell they are supposed to do.  This country first came to greatness by harnessing the power of dissension to drive out the best idea.  In other words, that other party is here to keep your ass in check so your own crazy ideas don’t run amok all willy nilly and unfettered.  So let’s, for one moment, stop worrying about them and what they’re doing.   Let’s focus on the candidates and what we personally believe about them as individuals.  What does Barack Obama look like to you if you didn’t look at him through the lens of one party or the other?  What would you think of Mitt Romney if you didn’t know he was a Republican?

I mean do you really in your heart of hearts believe that Obama is secret Muslim Black Panther Socialist?  C’MON!! That’s a lot of clubs to belong to…the membership dues alone would render it unlikely.  Doesn’t he truly just seem like an intelligent, decent man who didn’t know what he was getting into but is drinking milk and getting stronger with experience?

Are you just buying into media hype and political mudslinging or do you truly in your heart of hearts think that Mitt Romney doesn’t care about jobs?  Won’t each of his wives have to get jobs if he’s reduced to a government salary?  How could he not care?

Ok, at this point, I’ll concede that it’s hard to master an effective segue after the second shot of tequila so let’s just finish Part 3 tomorrow.

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Life Lessons And Other Random Foolishness…

Posted on January 13, 2012 | 4 Comments

I believe every experience in my life to be valuable for learning something that can make the rest of my life, from that point forward, better.

Here’s a “for instance:”

Coffee, which is vitally important to me on any given day takes on a greater significance after an evening spent enjoying the privilege of a bottomless mimosa.  The morning after one such evening, I, truly needing my fix, headed to The Coffee Bean unshowered, without addressing hair and makeup, dressed in raggedy sweats and Uggs that had truly seen many, MANY better days.  So, I’m standing in line impatiently waiting for my coffee and, from the looks of it, some spare change.

I hear the door open and someone gets in line behind me.  Then, I feel breath on my neck so I turn around to give this too-close-in-line-stander a dirty look.  Mission accomplished, I turn my cranky ass back around to wait for my coffee.  After a few minutes, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

“Excuse me, is your name Kym?”

At second glance, I recognized this guy as the bartender from the Happy Hour spot near the office.

Now it never fails, whenever I go out looking like roadkill, I run into every one that I know. But this was easily the worst I have ever looked…in public…at a coffee shop…in the U.S.  (How quickly we forget Tijuana…)

“No, I’m not,” I replied, embarrassed, “but you’re not the first person to ask me that.”

His response?

“Yeah, you kinda look like her but you look better.”

WTF???  Apparently, my homeless skid row junkie look is better than my A game.

So, there are two things that I learned from this encounter:

  1. Every once in a while, you come across a rare person who just prefers the truth of the matter, regardless of how ugly it is, over a dressed up lie.
  2. Perhaps when I’m trying to put out what I think is my A game, I should stop grading on a curve.

To be continued…(once the shame subsides.)

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Posted in Politics

Don’t Start None…Won’t Be None!

Posted on January 8, 2012 | 2 Comments

While I believe he’s just too solid a candidate, doesn’t it almost seem like his GOP rivals are afraid to go hard on Mitt Romney.

Hmmmmm, I wonder why?  (Click Here)

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The Year Of Living Dangerously (Working Title: Proof That I Need More Productive Things To Do With My Free Time)

Posted on January 7, 2012 | 9 Comments

Sitting with a group of friends late last night at a diner in what appeared to have become an intervention, I was told that I might indeed be wound a little too tight.  It took a bit of convincing but ultimately I saw the light.

“When did I become so uptight?” I innocently asked my bestie.

“At birth?” he instantly replied but then gave it more thought and followed with “for crying out loud, you’re a Republican!”

The truth is that I do have a lot of rules that I use to govern my behavior.  (Strangely, few rules or anything else for that matter govern what comes out of my mouth but whatevs…)   Some of these rules are based on gender (“Women shouldn’t do that!”) while others are based on age (“I’m too old for that!”)  Even more are based on self-defined standards for social acceptability that exist only in my mind.

But now that I’m 28-ish, I want to challenge some of my own thinking both on personal and political fronts.  I want to make sure my perspective is well balanced and fair.  I want to prove that the truth loses nothing to investigation.  And dammit, I wanna loosen the hell up!

So, for the next year, I will spend time each weekend doing one thing that pushes my personal boundaries.  Maybe I’ll dance on a table, maybe I’ll go out without a perfectly matched belt-bag-shoe combination.  Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll listen to a liberal talk and try not to vomit.

Who knows?  The possibilities are endless.

So…….what the hell does this have to do with you, you ask?

Clearly, you didn’t think I would embark on such a journey and not bore you to death with every single detail, did you?

Really?

REALLY??

p.s. ish=12 years (For those of you who got stuck on that 28)

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Posted in From Me to You

Happy New Year!!

Posted on December 31, 2011 | 2 Comments

The old superstition that whomever you spend New Year’s Eve with will be with you throughout the New Year has held true for me for the last twenty years of my life without fail.

I can’t think of better people to spend 2012 with than all of you.  Thanks for being a part of my journey!

Just don’t show up at my place…cuz I do have po-po on speed dial.

Happy New Year to all of you!  I pray that 2012 will bring you closer to your true purpose.  Through that journey, you will find all of the love, happiness and prosperity your heart can hold. 

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Posted in From Me to You

The Blind Driving The Blinded

Posted on December 30, 2011 | 8 Comments

Listen, I enjoy a good white man as much as the next American but there is something about Ron Paul that I just can’t take seriously.

It’s not that he’s a racist asshole.  At this point, I really don’t care.  He could have a gang of black folk and illegal immigrants in his backyard picking cotton, selling tube socks and starching his damn shirts for all I care.  If he had the solution, or even a solution, to restore American to greatness, I say call his ass Massah.  Perhaps the reality is some of the comments that he made may have a grain of truth encased in his legalized heroine-induced hallucinations.  For instance, he said that 95% of the black men in Washington D.C. are criminals.  Unless Congress is in session…then the statistic flips from black men to white men.  See?  Grain of truth…

Neither is the problem that he’s homophobic.  The man is old, people.  His breath is dusty and he’s only got about 25 minutes left to live.  When folks are that old, it’s hard to change their minds about anything.  Back when he was growing up the gays kept their asses in the closet like good little sexually repressed Puritans should.  In fact, we can probably thank all of that pent up sexual frustration for some of our greatest American monuments – the slaughter and ultimate cultural decimation of our indigenous people, our unique brand of misogyny that reduces all of womankind to her bulbous parts and naughty bits and, my personal favorite, good ole’ slavery.  But I digress…now that homosexuality is firmly planted and ever growing in mainstream American culture, Ron Paul is just confused, poor thing! He just doesn’t know how to interact with gay folks.  He doesn’t know what the hell to say or do…or even if gay could be contagious.  The irony is he could totally be good for the gay marriage movement.  Wouldn’t he want government to stay out of folks’ marriages?  Wanna get married?   Then, get married!  Shit, why shouldn’t gay people suffer right along with the rest of us?

It’s not even that his best endorsement is Kelly Clarkson.  Effin’ Kelly Clarkson.  You remember her?  The little chubby chick from Ft Worth TX who won American Idol?  In fact his lack of back up just makes me feel a bit sorry for him.  No one is taking this man’s Presidential bid seriously.   But let’s not underestimate his potential for power and influence by other means and platforms.  FDR (thanks for the correction, decollins1969!) said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.  I disagree.  In America, we fear the absence of fear even more. We fear people who are not afraid.  And Ron Paul, for all his past transgressions and deceptively simple ideology, has been consistently unafraid in his branding.  This mofo ain’t scared of yo’ ass! His courage, reckless though it may be, is a leadership quality.  He truly believes that American people can be self-sufficient and don’t need the government to provide for us or control us in any way at all.  It’s every man for himself, survival of the fittest.  It’s revolutionary thinking – yet another leadership quality.  All he needs is a big enough group of idiots to gain some momentum and get some power going — and he will lead us right to the end of the world.  (Hmmm, another shout out to the Mayans, I guess…)  Gaining that kind of support is the true driver behind all of his incendiary statements about blacks and gays.  Although, unafraid himself, he’s pulling the strings of marginalized groups in American who truly are afraid.  All of the anti-government radicals in Montana love him!  Think about it, people…if each village in America simply donated their idiot to Ron Paul, he could be President!  Clearly Fort Worth has donated theirs…who’s next?

In spite of all that, the thing that really ticks me off about Ron Paul is that he looks exactly like Mr. Magoo…but with hair. (Go ahead, google it…I’ll wait)  And I don’t know about you…but I don’t mind a blind, bumbling old fool…until he insists on getting in the drivers’ seat.

Then, he becomes a danger to us all.

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Merry Christmas…Again!!

Posted on December 25, 2011 | 2 Comments

Wow!  Who would have ever thought I’d be here long enough to write y’all a second annual Christmas greeting?

This has been quite a year for us as a people.  Let the Mayans tell it…it will be our last.  And if so, quite frankly, we are going out balls to the wall.

So, in the midst of strife, warfare and revolution, my Christmas wish to you is…love.  I wish you love.  Not the kind of love that requires a safe word.  Well,  not JUST the kind of love that requires a safe word.

The kind that proves we are not in this life alone but rather part of a rich complex fabric, our destinies interwoven, calling for young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, good and bad…well, maybe not Newt Gingrich or any of the Kardashians…to work collectively and live collaboratively.

So, bottom line? You are stuck with me and, in a handful of rare instances, to me…but that’s a Jell-O story for the third Christmas greeting.

Happy Holidays to my KCG folks, wherever you are.  Hope that you are safe and well because not everyone is.

Praying peace for the people of Nigeria today.

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Posted in From Me to You