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You know, it’s not always easy to tell the truth especially when the truth is ugly.   Because unlike the vision impaired bartender from Part 1, we don’t like ugly. That’s who we are as a country today.  Denial, emotion, avoidance?  Sure, but not ugly.  But that bartender has converted me, I now prefer the ugly truth.  The ugly truth is that unless we stop allowing politicians to bastardize our democratic process through manipulation and fear, America will not be restored to greatness.  Now, that’s ugly because we all want hope and change.  We’re so addicted to feeling better in the present, we are jeopardizing the potential to actually be better in the future.  As the 2012 presidential campaign starts to heat up, we’re gonna hear a lot of lies meant to distract us from the truth.

The biggest lie ever?  The other party is the problem.

Y’know, I never understood the concept of primaries.  Folks from the same party get together in a dogfight to eat each others young and compete for the party’s nomination.  But bloodied and bruised, the top dog has been reduced by his own party to the one remaining attribute that they suddenly and miraculously agree qualifies him to lead the country:  NOT being the incumbent.  I mean all his shit sucks but at least he (pointing at Romney) ain’t HIM (pointing at Obama.)  Now I’m supposed to be confident that mofo can run the country when his own boys have just turned on him like a pack of cannibalistic savages?

So no, the other party is not the problem.  Your own party is the problem.

The other party is simply here to oppose YOUR ass which is what the hell they are supposed to do.  This country first came to greatness by harnessing the power of dissension to drive out the best idea.  In other words, that other party is here to keep your ass in check so your own crazy ideas don’t run amok all willy nilly and unfettered.  So let’s, for one moment, stop worrying about them and what they’re doing.   Let’s focus on the candidates and what we personally believe about them as individuals.  What does Barack Obama look like to you if you didn’t look at him through the lens of one party or the other?  What would you think of Mitt Romney if you didn’t know he was a Republican?

I mean do you really in your heart of hearts believe that Obama is secret Muslim Black Panther Socialist?  C’MON!! That’s a lot of clubs to belong to…the membership dues alone would render it unlikely.  Doesn’t he truly just seem like an intelligent, decent man who didn’t know what he was getting into but is drinking milk and getting stronger with experience?

Are you just buying into media hype and political mudslinging or do you truly in your heart of hearts think that Mitt Romney doesn’t care about jobs?  Won’t each of his wives have to get jobs if he’s reduced to a government salary?  How could he not care?

Ok, at this point, I’ll concede that it’s hard to master an effective segue after the second shot of tequila so let’s just finish Part 3 tomorrow.

iLost a hero.

Remembering the day that proved to world that we are indeed The UNITED States of America…today, I, along with millions of Americans, remember the 2,796 citizens of the world that were lost to us on this day, 10 years ago.

“Since then, I’ve stopped crying.  But I haven’t stopped missing my dad.”  said Peter Negron, a young man, then a small boy, who lost his father that day.

It’s been a long road, but I think I finally stopped crying when I finally stopped trying to make sense of what happened.  At some point, I had to let it go and accept that despite my core belief to the contrary, some human beings can, in fact, be purely evil.  But this post ain’t about them, it’s about us.

It takes a good deal of trust to live in this world.  When we step out on the Walk sign at an intersection, we trust that the cars will stop before running us down.  When we shake a stranger’s hand, we trust that he hasn’t done too many untoward things with said hand before offering it to us in greeting.  When the doors close on the subway, we trust that all of the folk on that train are going to act right. (ok, so you know the guy talking to himself and scratchin’ his ass in the corner is gonna act up but he’s your uncle and you love him anyway.)  This trust is based on human nature and a lifetime of data points – instances where folks have just acted right…made the right choices…done the right things.

Without that trust, there’d be little difference between wild animals and us – we’d also be skittish, driven purely by instinct and prone to eat raw meat.  Our survival, even our excellence, as a species has depended on our ability to trust people even those that we do not know or understand, particularly in America where personal liberties reign supreme.  We got nothing but our individual spiritual beliefs (or the lack thereof,) our American values and our mamas’ guilt trips to keep us in line.  And somehow, warts and all, we made it work.

So, 9/11 rocked, wrong tense – rocks, us to our very core because it attempted to screw with the trust that is the essence of who we are as Americans.

This act of mass, senseless murder was not an attack on our buildings, our economy, our mobility — this act of terrorism was an attack on our American…ness…ism..stuff.  And we ain’t toleratin’ that foolishness.  They may break our individual hearts but they will never break our collective resolve.

Our best defense is to continue being American, in all its flawed and shining glory.  Trust one another in a vigilant, suspicious kinda way. Grope someone at the airport. Restore our belief in one another as Americans of different faiths.  Talk bad about each other but get in the ass of any outsider who tries to do the same.  Demand all of your personal freedoms, even the ones you’re not using at the moment, until you annoy everyone around you.  Watch too much T.V.   Call your Congressperson and give ‘em hell cuz you had a bad day.  Enjoy your “unentitled” sense of entitlement.  Move your old sofa to the porch and drink moonshine from a two-toned jug through your missing front teeth.  Legally marry your second cousin unless you’re the same gender.  Flip off the little, old lady who drives like Mr. Magoo and cuts you off in traffic because she can’t see over the dashboard but don’t be shocked when she returns the favor cuz that’s how my Nana rolls.

Damn! I love you people! *sniff*

Whatever you do…never forget 9/11 and the brave men and women who took a stand for America that day continuing the bond of trust that made us great.

I am an American.

God bless The United States of America.

My little angel, Lucy, had her little lady-nuts cut today.  She was starting to become quite the neighborhood tramp although given her recently discovered penchant for lady lovin’…I’m not sure the spaying was necessary.

Please send lots of hugs and kisses!  The doc says she’ll be back to her old self in about 24-48 hours.  So that means there will be a dog for sale around Saturday afternoon.

September 13, 2010.

I can’t wait!!  I’ve missed you, pun’kins!!!!

Meet ya’ back here with something fresh tonight…

Please feel free to read this (click here) while you wait!

Now…can I get you something to drink?

I’m waiting for Reuters to issue a correction. (click here)

Everyone knows Obsession for Men doesn’t attract jaguars.

It attracts cougars.  And that’s an entirely different story.

I lived in Los Angeles for 10 years. It’s easy to get hooked on L.A. Celebrity sightings, hot parties, and all the sunshine you can handle. Every day is a good hair day. Hanging out with friends, dining al fresco, barely orange mimosas. Los Angeles will have you believe you can defer heartbreak for a lifetime.

I attended a friend’s birthday party one year and noticed for the first time that some of the gentlemen appeared to be in uniform, same clothes, same color. It was exciting, getting a first hand glimpse of what I had previously seen only on television or in movies. Even in the midst of dried hayfield, I didn’t know enough to pray that nobody had match.

I had that in common with Kevin. Kevin was an unassuming giant of boy, almost a man. In spite of how his size frightened others, he was a sweet soul with a crooked smile who desired simply to do the right things. He was proud of his pending job at the oil refinery, his pretty new truck, and paying his $500 rent on time every month. My favorite Kevin story? I was sitting at home one day minding my own business when I got a call from his cousin. Kevin was sitting at her house filled with anxiety about who he would ask to the prom. He ended up asking the prettiest girl he could find. We laughed later when he finally confessed, “I couldn’t come up in there with no ugly girl cuz Auntie Kym will clown me…and her.” He asked the prettiest girl he could find. She was apparently smart, too, because she said yes. They had a great time that night. They’ve been together ever since.

So, you can imagine her devastation this weekend when Kevin was shot five times in the face and chest by a passing gangbanger because his boy had on the wrong color shoes.

It’s easy to forget. The danger is real. Our community is broken. I’ll miss Kevin’s little crooked smile. He never felt comfortable calling me Kym because of our difference in age. He thought Miss Kym was too distant. He finally settled on Auntie Kym although there was no common blood or family member between us. I called him Little Kevin, almost a man.

God protects babies and fools but he collects angels.

RIP, Kevin. Always the gentleman, you gave up your life for another. We miss you.

Writing this blog has been a total learning experience.  Well, not really writing the blog…reading the feedback is more like it.

I am the first to admit, I gotta lotta dumb stuff to say.  Not worth a damn thing.  If you had this post and some cheap toilet paper, all you’d really have is a handful of sh*t.  That’s all.

But my opinions, though sometimes embellished and always tongue-in-cheek, always reflect my heart for the most part.  This is me, bare-naked, warts and all.  (Damn! Can somebody get this bitch a Snuggie or something?)

I come from a lifetime of having to suppress feelings and opinions.  From being seen but not heard as a child to towing the company line in corporate America, the one sure thing that I’ve learned in my life is that speaking freely has consequences.

The reason that speaking freely is so harmful to us- and I’ve said this many times before – is because we continue to struggle with understanding that what we believe has no bearing on the truth.  We have to let go of the notion that simply believing something is enough to make that thing right.  And someone else wrong if they don’t agree.  It’s killing us, man.  It’s flying planes into our buildings, it’s chopping villagers up with machetes, it’s shooting up our schools. 

What I believe is what I believe.  It’s not right or wrong.  Neither is what you believe. 

It is my best hope that folks will read this blog…with my stupid, useless opinion…think that I’m the world’s biggest idiot…but still meet me for Happy Hour.  Not only because it proves that we can find common ground between our differences but also because I am a raging alcoholic and will drink with just about anyone who walks upright and looks reasonably clean.