In the devastating aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti, why the hell haven’t we heard from Bill Clinton? Clearly, someone has taken him hostage. Because there is no way on God’s green earth, that his limelight lovin’ ass has not stepped forward to make a wonderfully crafted, eloquent statement about the struggle of the Haitian people, sprinkled throughout with reminders of all that was done during his administration to help them.
I know that he knows about what’s happened in Haiti because hidden way, deep inside the Clinton Foundation website is a page that provides links to the organizations that are actually doing something to help the Haitians. Now, you can’t get to that page from the front of his site…you kinda have to go through the back door, but it could just be that Clinton through the years has just become more comfortable sneaking in and out of back doors. (Clearly, I mean in that in the logisitical sense, not the anatomical one.)
Therefore, I’m forced to believe that he has been kidnapped and was taken by force to an unknown location. Because surely by NOW, we would have heard from him. So I say, it’s time to start rousting ho’s and shaking down Harlem juke joints until we find him and free him so that he can actually execute his role as U.N. Special Envoy to Haiti.