Last week, my nephew had to get two shots during a visit to the pediatrician’s office. The doc and her staff came in and administered the shots, which he hated, but then gave him a Disney bandage, which he ADORED. As you and I both know, bandages don’t last forever so eventually, he was devastated when the bandage lost it’s stickiness and had to go the way of his used snot rags.
So today, we’re driving around in the car and he gets quiet, pensive almost. Then he says, “Aunt Kym, I want to go and get a shot today.” You see, during that doctor’s visit, my nephew unconsciously learned a valuable life lesson. No pain, no gain. He realized that in order to get to his end game, the Disney bandage, he was going to have to experience a bit of pain. He’s four.
On the other hand, most men have lost that life lesson; perhaps in our dealings with them, ladies. See, men will just demand a box of Disney bandages and, before you know it, will have those Disney characters plastered on every square inch of their bodies. They’ll even leave the wrappers and the empty box for you to clean up. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we’re all salty cause the bastards have wasted all those good band-aids without a wound in sight. The lesson for us is that we have to select a man who still has some understanding that those band-adis make you feel better after you’ve experienced some pain in the relationships. They help the healing. That’s what they’re for…not to just cover and patch shit up. Our relationships are meant to build our character and sometimes all that growth can hurt. But those band-aids, like love, cover those wounds until they heal and get stronger. Modern science tells us that when a wound heals, the new skin covering the would is stronger than the original skin that was damaged.
Alternatively, you can stab him 50-60 times with a butter knife. Then, you won’t think he’s such an asshole for wasting all those damn bandages.