I learned some valuable life lessons when I was seven.
A boy in my class asked me to be his girlfriend. When I said, “No” he hit me on my head with his G.I. Joe lunchbox. And this wasn’t no modern day lunchbox. No sir. This was one of those metal lunchboxes, remember those? That lunchbox could have just as easily given me tetanus as it could a concussion. When I woke up, he asked me again. This time, I said, “Yes” — because, contrary to popular belief, my mama ain’t raise no fool. The answer to the question, “One lump or two?” is always “One, thank you.” The major lesson I learned is that sometimes life presents us with demands that we aren’t going to like but we are still required to meet. We can either just move forward and do it…or we can do it after we get hit in the head with the lunchbox. The minor lesson is that when under pressure, a seven year old may lack the necessary coping skills and impulse control to be a productive member of society.
Anway, I’m on the hunt for one of those lunch boxes because there are some fellow Republicans that I think are going to need to learn this valuable lesson in the coming weeks (the major lesson, not the minor lesson…although really, who knows?) Because all signs indicate, the Democrats are going to shove this healthcare bill down our throats and the throats of the American people. But in all fairness, if we sustain any injuries…at least we’ll all have affordable insurance. Anyway, we’ve got our work cut out for us, my little GOPsters. You can’t fold up your arms and stomp home because we didn’t get our way. This current bill is like a runaway train and somebody’s gotta keep this thing on the tracks…or least minimize the casualties. In other words, I don’t want to see any Republicans cuttin’ up and actin’ a fool. Hear me? Just do your job.
Your job starts by answering this question: Is there nothing, absolutely nothing in the current proposed bill that you can support? I find it hard to believe you can’t give a l’il dap on anything! C’mon, y’all! It ain’t trickin” if you got it! (I don’t what the hell that means…it just felt like a natural fit.) Why we gotta start all over? Let’s be green about this sh*t. Recycle, rework, reuse — don’t re-invent!! Then reject pieces — pick out the elements that absolutely suck and re-negotiate those points only. Because at the end of the day, if you’re not part of the solution, then…you’re gettin’ hit in the head with a lunchbox. Cuz with or without ya, the train is leaving the station! That’s right – reconciliation!! Sounds good…but it ain’t! Them damn Dems can make us eat it with a simple majority. They don’t need your Republican ass. But if they do that no one wins, not you, not the Dems, not My Boo…and least of all, the American people. Remember us? Maybe not, it’s been a while since we’ve spoken.