GOP Swap: Why Not Get Rid of Michael Steals and Replace Him With Sarah’s Failin’

I think I’ve been too hard on Sarah Palin.

This may come as a shock to those of you who have heard me say that my cold, dead, post-rigor mortis body would have to be scraped off of the steel reinforced gates of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue before this brainless albeit beautiful twit was allowed in there to do anything other than swing from a pole in the Lincoln bedroom.

But once I just accepted that this flippin’ idiot has about as much chance of becoming President as she would finding a Boystown in Alaska, I was able to unclench the cheeks a bit and relax. It’s just not going to happen. Even her own supporters say she’s not ready for a Presidential run yet.

But just because she can’t be President, doesn’t mean she can’t still serve her country. No, I don’t mean at the local IHOP. In fact, I don’t think she’s that far away from finding a niche where she can have the visibility she so desires. You betcha! See, her ambitions are right it’s her aim that’s wrong. She’s going after the wrong black guy’s job. Instead of trying to monkey-wrestle My Boo’s job from him, she needs to take her folksy ass across town and snatch the other black guy’s job…cuz THAT dude? He’s the worst.

For those of us who’ve had our eye on Michael Steele and his long history of mismanaged money for more than minute, this $2,000 at the root of all this controversey is as much of a concern to us as the identity of Trig Palin’s real mama. [OK, so I may be willing to let up but I refuse to pretend that Trig is her real son. C’mon, are we really expected to pretend that’s her son? That child is her grandson – Tripp Johnston, The Prequel. Sarah Palin’s old ass is not still dropping babies.] But back to Steele, the real issue is that he’s just not cut out to deliver what the GOPs needs to fund victories this fall, even those that appear to be easy wins because they are in districts that heavily opposed the healthcare bill. That’s his job, not running around trying to be Obama’s mirror mime. Steele has long been confused about the role of the RNC Chairman, which is why he keeps getting smacked around for talking outta turn.

So, Michael, let me help. If the political landscape was a table at Club Voyeur, you wouldn’t be one of the patrons. Neither would you be the host or even the D.J. You’d be the stripper. So, dance, bitch, and bring those dollars home to mama! Shake whatcha mama gave ya! We’ve got elections to win and there’s no time to be putzing around with a chief fundraiser who think he was hired for his brains instead of his beauty. Enter Sarah Palin. See, she KNOWS she’s not going to win in the brains department. She’s not tryna pretend, in fact, it’s just easier. She ain’t gotta worry about no Harvard or Georgetown degree. She’s just a hockey mom. So, let’s turn her ass out and send her after the money! I think she would be great as the head of the RNC. Her whole head could remain empty – all she would have to do is raise money and rally the troops, so to speak. She’s already doing this today. Remember that old broad who paid $50G’s for dinner with her? Personally, I’da loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation or even the shenanigans that followed that dinner…at least until I was driven to stick the butter knife into my forehead to put an end to my misery.

At the end of the day, Sarah Palin would be a phenomenal RNC Chair. She won’t agree to it cuz her retarded ass thinks she can be President. Personally, she just needs someone to set her straight.

Allow me.

Sarah, you cannot turn a ho into housewife.

Hunh? What? Oh….Ok, you’re right. But Todd used lipstick and duct tape to make it work the first time around. But he’d need a golden monkey and a leprechaun to turn trash into The Chief.  I mean, with the elections right around the corner, and your party needing your help. It may be time to just let it go…just pop them pasties on and get ready to run. The bell is about to ring, girl!  We got some major playas in the house, new booty!

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4 thoughts on “GOP Swap: Why Not Get Rid of Michael Steals and Replace Him With Sarah’s Failin’

  1. LOL….I thought “the daily show” take on the steele situation was funny….but this is hilarious and brilliant thinking and strategery (as dubya would say).

    Remind me NEVER to play chess against you, ur 2 smrt fo me!!

  2. living here in MD where Steel has laid his spawn…one would think that the GOP would have dropped him like a hot potato (like they did your boy Jindell from LA). Even I smh thinking…this really can’t be the best they got.

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