Spanking is a strong predictor of violence in children before the age of 5. (click here) Really? And here all this time I thought it was a strong predictor of who’s NOT going to be robbing banks by the age of 9.
Listen, I know these are smart folks. I know they work at Tulane and they’re doctors, these are not stupid people. I suspect that they are not sexy people either but that’s a post for another day. What we need to rap a taste about today is these damn kids that are completely out of control…and I think these studies are to blame.
NOW, you know good and HELL WELL (for emphasis and for your information, I did a pregnant pause between HELL and WELL cuz I meant it!) that these bad ass kids need a good, old-fashioned foot-in-your-ass, knock ’em out with one punch…and then wake ’em up with another punch beatdown every now and again. But instead they’re getting time outs and that, my good educated people, is why they stay cussin’ their mamas out in front of the candy shelf at the cash register, in the line at the bank, at the Jiffy Lube (where I once saw a child cuss his mama OUT like she stole his winning lottery ticket for telling him “that we agreed we weren’t going to play with our privates outside.” He cussed her out so bad, I couldn’t bear her shame. That was just too much trauma for me, I had to leave the damn Jiffy Lube in a jiffy but sho’ nuff without the lube!) at the table at The Olive Garden — you name it, these kids are large and in charge. Although Michelle Obama is working on the first problem, we gotta get a handle on the second. That’s right, I’m calling your big, bulbous, bossy, badass babies out!
Folks, let’s not ignore history. The fact is, for generations, our folk have been hands on with the babies. No one is saying to beat these kids to a pulp but you can take a child and smack some sense into them every now and again without worry that they’re going to get all O-ren Ishii on your ass for calling the shots when they get out of order. The truth is there is wisdom in the old ways. Despite this article’s assertion that your child’s fear is something to be avoided, the truth is actually different: your child’s fear is to be cultivated and then harnessed. Fear of getting burned is why they don’t touch the stove and that’s a good thing because it leads to a safe, productive outcome. The same logic applies. You want that fear to work for you. Don’t listent ot them folks who tell you that your kids shouldn’t be afraid of you. Yes, they should — particularly before this big, corn-fed boy outgrows your ass and you completely lose control. You gotta get the upper psychological hand early.
I totally get that when it comes to kids discipline is not “one size fits all.” It takes a combination of methods throughout your child’s formative years. Developing your child’s social and behavioral boundaries will likely be a lifelong endeavor as you reach each milestone ahead of him or her. Indeed, as much as your child watched and learned about work ethic when you left him early every morning at the breakfast table, he will watch you finally crawling the last mile to a hard-fought retirement. As you gather your things and walk past your child’s curious gaze, eyeing him lovingly as he turns back to his bowl of cereal…smack the back of his head so his face hits the Cheerios and make sure the milk splashes. Why you gotta be the only one goin’ to work? That grown m#%&% is sittin’ at home eating Cheerios while you take your ass to work because 40 years ago, yo’ dumb ass chose the time out rather than the knock out!