Can someone please explain to me how this man remains impervious to criticism and any sense of accountability for what’s happened and continues to happen in our wetlands?
This man is walking around like he’s a hero, cleaning up somebody else’s pile of sh*t on the floor. Hey, Tony! Newsflash: You’re not a hero when you wipe your own ass. We all do it and nobody gets a parade. As I’m reading his Associated Press interview, I can feel my blood pressure going through the roof. I’ve had it with this dude. (click here) So, don’t ask me to marry you, Tony Hayward. I won’t do it! (Although I will happily take you on as a sponsor. Don’t worry, if I start working out everything will be at least two inches higher.)
First, his vow to remediate all environmental damage smells a bit of a God complex, if you ask me. Uh…Tony? Them birds dead than a muthaf—–. Ain’t no remediatin’ that, homey. Unless you got some BP goons walking around with tiny little EKG paddles to shock tens of thousands of little ornithilogical hearts back into action, I think you’re overpromising here. We are on Mother Nature’s side. If you wanted to do something, you shoulda had your legion of assholes out in the their BP jumpsuits cleaning off them little fudgy birds with Dawn dishwashing liquid from Day 1. Instead you chose to figure out how to cover your ass while our wetlands turn into a carrion buffet, a veritable smorgasboard for vultures and other bottom feeders like, say, South Carolina political operatives. (OK, so clearly you didn’t think I was going to say NOTHING about the Haley debacle, did you?)
Second, I don’t like this slimy bastard’s word choice. He’s starting to piss me off walking such a fine semantic line as to use tense as a means to make his lie truthful. So, your 1-day old containment caps are containing the vast majority of oil? Given the benefit of the douby, perhaps they are containing the vast majority of one day’s worth of oil. But, Tony Tone, the vast majority of all the oil since Day 1 is floating in the water, washing up on our shores as tarballs and choking the life out of 400 different animal species in America’s wetlands.
But the thing that really pissed me off…I mean really stuck in my craw was his assertion that proper protections were in place and something like this hasn’t happened in the twenty years of deep water drilling. I’m taking off my earrings right now. Where’s the Vaseline? Because I wanna deliver an old school, wait ’til your Daddy gets home, BEATDOWN!! Is he kidding me? The odds on that, according to the article, could be as high as 1 in 100,000. I feel safe assuming that he would be unwilling to bet his livelihood and the welfare of his own family and community on those odds. Once every twenty years are not safe odds, douche bag! I’ve already lived “once every twenty years” twice in my lifetime. That’s like….two times too many! Enough is enough.
At the end of the day, Hayward’s arrogance comes from the fact that he’s got America by the balls. He can do whatever he wants, our dependence on his product means that he’s in charge. Sure, we could boycott BP but really, that just rewards the other oil companies who are the same kind of asshole but just didn’t get caught. In fact, Hayward’s practically thumbing his dumb British nose at us in the article saying that BP won’t really be hurt by this…and he’s right. BP today is trading at $37, sure down from a $62 high in the past year, but certainly not at the lowest point in two years. The takeaway? The bottom is not dropping out for BP and it never will while we need them. This is not a free market. We need them as much as we need utility companies. If we really want to punish BP, then we need to step up the game on alternative energy sources.
America…President Obama? It’s time we make these oil companies woo us, rather than screw us.
In the words of that chick who was hollerin’ in the The Great Debaters, “The time for justice is always RIGHT NOW” I don’t know that it’s exactly relevant, but this felt like I should close with some hollerin’.