Who’s Afraid Of Dating The Big Bad Wolf??

Has it come to this?  Singles, I know the pickins are slim but damn!  The statistics are frightening and the reality can be discouraging but we have to make sure for our own sanity and perhaps our own safety that we don’t mistake being somebody’s somebody for being anybody’s somebody.    Not everyone deserves the opportunity to impact our lives and the lives of the little ones who depend on us.

This is a real tragedy.  (click here)  Devastating!  Let’s not waste the lesson in it.  I’ll admit you never know what folks are experiencing until you walk a mile in their shoes but I’d like to think that, as a therapist, I wouldn’t marry any student – especially if the class I taught was anger management.  The suspect just got out of jail, then had to attend anger management class.  And if I was going to marry someone who has to take a special class to manage his anger, I’d like to think I wouldn’t pick a recent graduate.  Perhaps I’d pick someone with an advanced degree in anger management.  Maybe someone who passed the practicum with flying colors or published a paper on it.  We certainly wouldn’t be moving his tassel from one side to the other on the way to the altar.  The last thing I need is to finally find my soul mate only to be stabbed 57 times with a butter knife because I didn’t pass him the gravy the first time he asked.

Not to trivialize this…because the real tragedy is the child who lost his mother and the tremendous hurdle he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to clear.  Perhaps he’ll continue the cycle of abuse, certainly he’ll have anger of his own to conquer.  With a bit of blessing, the remaining adults in his life will squeeze out of this horrific experience the only possible teaching moment – violence is not a means of communication, for anger or any other emotion.

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5 thoughts on “Who’s Afraid Of Dating The Big Bad Wolf??

  1. This is eerily similar to a situation my cousin’s wife just experienced two weeks ago.
    She was a therapist and was treating a man with anger issues.
    She came home from work to find him hiding in her house. He then emerged and stabbed her to death.
    Shocking and tragic to say the least.
    I had just seen her and my cousin full of untold joy days before at a party at my parents home.

    • Wow, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Your cousin wife died a hero, performing a critically important function for society – treating those who’s mental illness results in violence toward others. This is indeed shocking and tragic.

    • We’re often told that the chance of a random attack is rare (statistically low) – we usually know, on some level, our attackers. To know can mean to have relationship or, to someone who is mentally ill, a glance held a split second too long. It’s all of the intentional or chance encounters that we have throughout our lives that eliminate the randomness and make us more vulnerable. That’s sad, aren’t we really saying that we have to smile less, seem less friendly, less open to human interaction with those we don’t know. It makes our world seem smaller, less phenomenal. *sigh*

  2. I agree. Back in the day, we used to say “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Now it’s more like “Don’t trust anyone.” That’s sad. What angers me is that in events like this, it’s the good who die young. And we have not figured out how to filter out the perps who we “know” someday will do something heinous, so all we can do is close our shells and try to protect ourselves. Wah.

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