Calvin’s Making A Comeback!

Remember Calvin?

Back in the 80’s, a kid named Calvin started working the counter at McDonald’s after school in a national advertising campaign.  Cut to years later, the campaign picks up again to find Calvin managing the very same McDonald’s.  I wish the campaign woulda picked up again years later to find Calvin owning that McDonald’s franchise along with a few others but I’ll take what I can get.

Calvin is the reason that I think Obama will do a better job in the second term than he did in the first…although truth be told, it wouldn’t be that damn difficult.

I imagine Calvin showed up for his first day of work, full of energy and big ideas, ready to sit down with Grimace n’em and set this muthf#&% off!  Instead, they put his ass on the fries.  Why?  Because Calvin had no experience.  He didn’t know what the hell he was doing.  I know it looks easy…it’s just hamburgers but the thing about McDonald’s restaurants is that they are absolute monuments of operational efficiency.  Legend has it that regardless of what combination of items you order; the stores are organized, the processes optimized and the employees mobilized to deliver all of your products to you within 60 seconds.  Of course, the order’s gonna be wrong, Calvin’s homeboy has pocketed two dollars of your change and you know them fries are dry as your ass but that’s neither here nor there.  You as the consumer don’t see that there’s a big ole Chinese fire drill going on behind the scenes.  All you know is that ice cold Coke is really hittin’ the spot.  (though some of us will always prefer to drink the Kool-Aid…)

Calvin had to learn all of that before he became manager.  But once he learned, he ran the hell outta that Mickey D’s.

Like Calvin, President Obama had plenty of energy and big ideas but no experience serving them ideas up to a hostile staff and a bunch of customers who were hungry…but had no money or idea what we even wanted.  Now, y’all know as a man, I love me some Barack Hussein Obama.  As a President, not so much. He’s incredibly intelligent and a gifted orator but he lacks the experience to influence key decision makers and establish the support he needs to push his ideas through.  Without these two elements, he just couldn’t be an effective leader in some of the most troubled times our country, hell our world, has ever known.

That was then, this is now.  I suspect that in these last years, Obama has gained some valuable and necessary experience to stand on more sure footing.  He knows more today about the job at hand than when he took office almost three years ago.  And, unfortunately, I suspect he likely knows more than the five candidates on the Republican ticket.

Of the Republican pool, two have experience managing an administration and one has similar experience in the private sector.  The other two candidates have experience influencing key legislative decision makers.  But not one Republican candidate has experience doing both.  That means they are all in the same boat as Obama WAS at the start of this administration…kinda qualified but not really.

Partisan politics aside, in this moment in time, Obama could just be the most qualified candidate.

Wow…that was like taking a bullet.

Let the official Kimchi and Collard Greens GOP Candidate Search begin…


6 thoughts on “Calvin’s Making A Comeback!

  1. K.
    I think the Candidate is there in Huntsman, but to the Grand Old Party he is tainted because of his “connection” to Obama, and Of Course those ever important “Social issues” he tends to have an open mind.

    Look what has happened in the past few months to the candidates that have been pandering to the non-existent, or at least malleable core values of the right. ( I would probably be saying the same thing about the Left if it were their primary) What I mean is both sides have no clear leadership in crafting “The Message” if you will. The extremes on both sides have grabbed the honor of changing that message weekly, because the bully pulpit is no longer in the Congress or The Executive office. My feeling is the pulpit is held by Fox and MSNBC and others of the same ilk. The public look to these outlets as news and not commentary. I think both are good at getting the message out. I tend to be center left, and admit to being a fan of several of these commentators, however, when I watch a Lawrence O’Donnell or Bill O’Reilly, their self righteous certitude, pisses me the F&*k off. They feel, and perhaps rightly so, that they hold the real power to influence the direction of this country. That scares the shit out of me, entertainers swaying the opinions of millions, or at least distracting them. But at least they are visible and not everyone are sheep.

    What really worries me is what we don’t see publicly, but know exists. The money everyone of the so called “leaders” in our Government receive from special interest, corporations, call it what you will.

    I found myself giving President Obama a pass because of the whole party of “NO” thing. But you know what where is the “Hope” and “Change” i voted for. He knew the right was going to do nothing to help him succeed, they just planned on waiting out the clock and know that any President with an Economy such as this one, has the deck stacked against him. So I say, F&*k ’em, rally the troops, circle the wagons and fight your ass off, instead he’s been walking the fence between this I’m the partisan willing to compromise President and Paralyses.

    But I do agree he “WILL” be better next term. 😉

    I Love your observations, but gonna have to youtube the Calvin thing, My twenties are a bit hazy.


    • Thanks for the comment, John. Y’know, the Republicans are supposed to give the Prez a hard time because we’re assholes and that’s what we do. From where I sit, the biggest problem that the Prez has is that he doesn’t garner the full support of his own party. Perhaps if he dipped Democrats in glue, they’d stick together more…? How tacky! (sorry, I can’t resist a pun)

      The most beneficial political position for the American people is the middle right now. Extremism and recovery don’t mix. However, politics are not sensational enough in the middle so politicians swim to the outskirts to try and use emotions and passion to drum up votes. Sadly, hope and change have become two more fringe elements that have so much emotional garbage tied into them that they’re almost counter productive.

      As for me? I’ll stick with Cynicism and Reform…

  2. Calvin hasn’t gotten a decent raise in years, inflation (low as it’s been) has eaten what he did get, he forgot to get a PhD along the way, and his 401K has not appreciated in real terms since 1997. He’s camping out in NYC at night to save on rent for awhile until the protests are over. He’s also a conservative on fiscal issues but a liberal on social issues, doesn’t know as much about political dogma as his congresswoman does, and leaves illiterate and ill-informed comments (like this one) on Yahoo News. He’s glad the Army is protecting us in Afghanistan, though unsure exactly from what. And he’s going to vote in the next election, unlike the last two, because maybe it will make a difference. Next year his job will be given to a machine with the analytical ability of IBM’s Watson and he’ll go back to flipping burgers, possibly in China. No matter who gets elected Prez.

    • I guess they weren’t lying. McDonalds is really NOT good for you. Look at what it did to poor Calvin!

      Beautiful summation — no matter who gets elected Prez (unless, of course, it’s Calvin.) We need to focus on cleaning out Congress and our local govt’s. Let’s start by ensuring that every member of the Debt StupidCommittee is looking for a new job in the next round of elections.

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