Listen, I enjoy a good white man as much as the next American but there is something about Ron Paul that I just can’t take seriously.
It’s not that he’s a racist asshole. At this point, I really don’t care. He could have a gang of black folk and illegal immigrants in his backyard picking cotton, selling tube socks and starching his damn shirts for all I care. If he had the solution, or even a solution, to restore American to greatness, I say call his ass Massah. Perhaps the reality is some of the comments that he made may have a grain of truth encased in his legalized heroine-induced hallucinations. For instance, he said that 95% of the black men in Washington D.C. are criminals. Unless Congress is in session…then the statistic flips from black men to white men. See? Grain of truth…
Neither is the problem that he’s homophobic. The man is old, people. His breath is dusty and he’s only got about 25 minutes left to live. When folks are that old, it’s hard to change their minds about anything. Back when he was growing up the gays kept their asses in the closet like good little sexually repressed Puritans should. In fact, we can probably thank all of that pent up sexual frustration for some of our greatest American monuments – the slaughter and ultimate cultural decimation of our indigenous people, our unique brand of misogyny that reduces all of womankind to her bulbous parts and naughty bits and, my personal favorite, good ole’ slavery. But I digress…now that homosexuality is firmly planted and ever growing in mainstream American culture, Ron Paul is just confused, poor thing! He just doesn’t know how to interact with gay folks. He doesn’t know what the hell to say or do…or even if gay could be contagious. The irony is he could totally be good for the gay marriage movement. Wouldn’t he want government to stay out of folks’ marriages? Wanna get married? Then, get married! Shit, why shouldn’t gay people suffer right along with the rest of us?
It’s not even that his best endorsement is Kelly Clarkson. Effin’ Kelly Clarkson. You remember her? The little chubby chick from Ft Worth TX who won American Idol? In fact his lack of back up just makes me feel a bit sorry for him. No one is taking this man’s Presidential bid seriously. But let’s not underestimate his potential for power and influence by other means and platforms. FDR (thanks for the correction, decollins1969!) said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I disagree. In America, we fear the absence of fear even more. We fear people who are not afraid. And Ron Paul, for all his past transgressions and deceptively simple ideology, has been consistently unafraid in his branding. This mofo ain’t scared of yo’ ass! His courage, reckless though it may be, is a leadership quality. He truly believes that American people can be self-sufficient and don’t need the government to provide for us or control us in any way at all. It’s every man for himself, survival of the fittest. It’s revolutionary thinking – yet another leadership quality. All he needs is a big enough group of idiots to gain some momentum and get some power going — and he will lead us right to the end of the world. (Hmmm, another shout out to the Mayans, I guess…) Gaining that kind of support is the true driver behind all of his incendiary statements about blacks and gays. Although, unafraid himself, he’s pulling the strings of marginalized groups in American who truly are afraid. All of the anti-government radicals in Montana love him! Think about it, people…if each village in America simply donated their idiot to Ron Paul, he could be President! Clearly Fort Worth has donated theirs…who’s next?
In spite of all that, the thing that really ticks me off about Ron Paul is that he looks exactly like Mr. Magoo…but with hair. (Go ahead, google it…I’ll wait) And I don’t know about you…but I don’t mind a blind, bumbling old fool…until he insists on getting in the drivers’ seat.
Then, he becomes a danger to us all.