I never stood a chance.
Both Koreans and Blacks act out in church. It’s a stereotype, I know. But it’s true…and it takes time. So, since I’m not a fluent Korean speaker, I typically go where I can at least understand what the folks are saying. Trust me, with all that hootin’ and hollerin’, the choice ain’t always obvious.
When I need to worship quickly, I attend a nice, white church with their punctuality, their silent agreement and their uncanny ability to end a song when the real words run out. It’s delightful and refreshing and leaves plenty of day left to spend time with family and get ready for the week ahead.
But today, this beautiful Resurrection morning, I feel a great need to connect spiritually with my people and I know that means going back to my home church where old men and women, seasoned in the fire but still standing, sing deeply personal love songs to our Savior, heads thrown back and tears of gratitude streaming down their worn black faces. God speaks to me there. And I know, deep down in my spirit, that there is no way on God’s green earth we are getting out of here before 4 o’clock.
WHY??!! Why, black people, do we gotta stay in church ALL DAY? Lunch breaks, intermissions, shift changes…it’s gotta stop! Got me in my car blogging in the parking lot cuz I know I won’t get out in time to do anything else all day.
Alright…I’m going in. If you don’t hear from me by 4:00…consider sending in the hostage negotiators…sometimes they put the Hallelujah Choraliers on the doors when service runs long.
Public Service Announcement: If you are not a believer, you have until noon (3:00 in black neighborhoods) to go to your favorite brunch spot without being subjected to the loud never-ending parade of church ladies in big floppy hats and random outbursts of “Hallelujah!” (that strangely coincide with the arrival of the bottomless mimosas.)
It’s Easter Sunday, man! For church folks, Easter Sunday brunch is…the…BIG…GAME!! It’s on and poppin’!
Happy Resurrection Day, folks! *sniff* I’ll miss you… (theme from Titanic playing in the background)