As much as leaving broke my heart, I sometimes find myself surprised, even annoyed, that L.A. had the nerve to continue on after I left.
Ok, someone might need some medication to manage her narcissistic personality disorder.
I mean, it was difficult for me to leave L.A. and even harder to go on after L.A. Don’t get me wrong…I’m a Jersey girl to the bone. For real, for real. But me and L.A.? We was homies. And you know what it’s like when you lose a homey…you pour a little out.
In this case, I’ll pour a little out from my heart.
So it occurs to me, this feeling is precisely why it’s special to miss someone. Because in a small way you’re saying, “I don’t go on the same way without you.”
I will never take it lightly again when I hear someone say, “I miss you.” Contrary to my initial belief, it’s not just something you say to make folks feel good…and then put down the phone and forget about them until the next time they call. It speaks to a loss, however subtle. We may figure out how to live around it, we may make up for it in other ways but there is definitely something…well, missing. (Do you see what I did there?) It just ain’t the same.
Now everyone in the free world may already know this but I just figured it out. Just now. At 41 years old, I just figured that out and poured a little out of my heart.
I miss you! (I also miss having viable Republican candidates for public office but not in the same way.)
Ahhh…now I feel all girly and shit. A little slow but still…girly. I’m think I’m gonna finish pounding this beer, scratch my ass and go paint my toenails.